8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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