the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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