Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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