He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
