this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
