Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize