Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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