we have officially lost it.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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