Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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