yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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