So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
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