You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
