I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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