The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
