I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
