i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
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I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
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Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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