I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.