Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
