actually, I'm a sock model
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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