you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
tell me about the eggs
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