...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
