just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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