I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
a search helicopter?!
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He did a backflip because drugs
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
