Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
