Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
