There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
