Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
