She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
