"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
