the condom got lost in my hair
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
is it fun? or sober?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
