i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
