Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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