Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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