He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
