I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
