I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize