Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
