who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
