It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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