MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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