he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
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