Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I think my moral compass just broke
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
