I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
