So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
