Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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