Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
