Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
