Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Drunk is not a location!
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
