Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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