I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
My balls are so social today.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
