omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
