I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Also, beer. Big fan.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I want a musical about memes.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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