so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
