Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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