please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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