I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
