if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
