Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
