somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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