Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
