i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
When did angry sex become our thing?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
