So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
